Destroy Regret In Your Life Once And For All

Regret is toxic. There is absolutely no benefit to regret than to weigh you down.

Talk To Me About Regret

Everyone has felt the impact of regret. You know the feeling of looking back on a decision and playing the what-if game?

The dictionary defines regret as:

a feeling of sadness, repentance, or disappointment over something that has happened or been done

It is easy to look back on your past with a critical eye.

Always remember:

You can only do the best you can with what you have at the time it is taking place.

You might not have made the best choice in your past at some point. Take solace in the fact that you did what you could. No person will be on point at every moment of their lives.

The question is, “Will you hold on to your regret or learn and get rid of it?”

The Past

Our past is a perfect battleground to learn from. After all, we are supposed to learn from our mistakes, right?

We are supposed to learn from our mistakes so we don’t make them again. Some people pick up on this quickly. Others, not so much.

Even better is if you don’t have to make a mistake, but learn from others before you make it.

Focusing and living in the past creates sadness and can lead to depression. You know what it is like to reminisce about your past.

Making Headway

So, we build up regret from our past.

Keeping our thoughts in the future produces anxiety.

Centering our thoughts on the present helps to keep us grounded.

Tiptoeing into our future and past is part of human nature. You shouldn’t feel bad about doing so. Just don’t spend all your time in one place or the other. Focus on the present. This is where you need to be living.

The sooner you can realize the benefit of living in the present, the better off you will be.

The same goes for dealing with your bipolar disorder. It is super easy to look in the past and say I should have done A or B. Our illness can make things worse since it is a disease of our mind. Our thoughts can skew our interpretations of events.

That is why you need to give yourself a break.

Bipolar disorder consists of two poles—mania and depression. Already, people define this label by black-and-white thinking.

Thinking in a grey area is extremely difficult when you are used to feeling in two extremes. It takes time. It takes practice.

Strategies To Rid Yourself Of Regret

Mindfulness

Mindfulness is the practice of putting your thoughts in the here and now.

The dictionary defines mindfulness as:

The practice of maintaining a nonjudgmental state of heightened or complete awareness of one’s thoughts, emotions, or experiences on a moment-to-moment basis

By default, you are placing yourself in the present when you practice mindfulness. This type of thinking strengthens your ability to tackle adversity and deal with your past.

Therapy

Therapy is a great place to start sorting through your feelings and thoughts.

Mindfulness is a great technique to learn when you are in therapy. Make sure you find a therapist that you like. It is much easier to chat with someone when you connect with them.

A therapist can help you work through your issues and past.

My therapists have been instrumental in helping me move on from my past. Now, I am a completely new person.

Learn to Let Go

Recently, I had an encounter with a person that got me thinking. He tried his best to shame me for some of my decisions and where I am today. Judgment is the word describing his perspective.

At first, it really hurt my feelings. I’m talking maybe 5 seconds. I quickly ended the conversation and will probably never speak to that person again.

One thing I told this individual during our brief interlude:

I don’t live in regret

I feel in my heart and soul that I make the best decisions that I possibly can. My decisions always utilize every option available. No, I am not at 100% functioning all the time. In fact, I am generally subpar. The point is that I decide whether I am stable, in the throes of an episode, or somewhere in between.

No one walks in my shoes but me.

Sometimes you have to give up some control to feel control.

With bipolar disorder, we don’t always have control. No matter how consistent you are with medication, following your daily routine, and self-care, you can still have breakthrough symptoms and even an episode.

I am the first person to take responsibility for the realities of bipolar disorder—I usually do to a fault. However, I have learned that this is a serious chronic illness that does not have a schedule or timetable.

There is a way to take responsibility for your illness. You can do everything in your power to keep from decompensating.

Take initiative in managing your overall treatment plan.

You need to focus on prevention.

Things can easily go beyond the prevention stage and into an episode. Seek professional help to bring you down from mania or pull you up from depression. If this is the case, you will have relinquished all control to bipolar disorder.

Move On

This is easier said than done.

I use reframing when I have a hard time moving on from a specific situation or encounter.

Reframing is changing the perspective of how you look at something. It is extremely difficult to do, but those of us with bipolar disorder have an advantage. Living with bipolar disorder, we are more sensitive than our neurotypical counterparts.

Reframing is a tool I have used for years and it is extremely useful.

When you move on from a situation, you no longer feel any regret. Toxic feelings of guilt and other non-useful feelings seem to melt away and disappear.

When you combine both “letting go” and “moving on,” you are doing a service to yourself.

Regret is something you no longer have to live with.

Last Thoughts

Never let anybody tell you that you need to feel guilty, or any other way, for that matter.

As an individual, we all react and feel different emotions based on our environment and situation.

A toxic person will minimize the way you feel. Maybe you need to ask yourself if they are the best person to be around, if that is the case.

There are so many ways to deal with regret. I am not saying my suggestions are law. Find what works for you. Try my ideas and perhaps you will find some relief and maybe some closure.

Whatever you do, do not deflect or push your experiences to the back of your mind. Either way, confront and deal with your feelings. Only then will you be able to move on and rid yourself of any regret.