Destroy Regret In Your Life Once And For All

Regret is toxic. There is absolutely no benefit to regret, and it can only weigh you down. You don’t have control over the past, but you do right now, in the present.

Talk To Me About Regret

Everyone has felt the impact of regret. You know the feeling of looking back on a decision and playing the “what-if” game, and you feel bad about a choice you made or something you did?

The dictionary defines regret as, “a feeling of sadness, repentance, or disappointment over something that has happened or been done.”

It is easy to look back on your past with a critical eye. Most people do. It is human nature. However, you can train yourself to reframe how you look at your past.

Always remember – you can only do the best you can with what you have at the time it is taking place. There are only so many options available, and choosing the “right one” is stressful and sometimes overwhelming.

You might not have made the best choices in your past at some point. At least you may perceive it that way. Take solace in the fact that you did what you could at the time.

Many times there are many external factors influencing a particular situation. Don’t think twice if you feel like you did the best you could at the time. If you think you didn’t do your best, work on it so you can do your best with the next opportunity presented. No person will be on point at every moment of their lives.

The question is, will you hold on to your regret, or will you learn and get rid of it?

The Past

Our past is a perfect battleground to learn from. After all, we are supposed to learn from our mistakes, right? But how do you do that exactly?

Learning from our mistakes prevents us from repeating them. Some people pick up on this quickly, while others, not so much.

Even better is if you don’t have to make a mistake, but instead you learn from others before you make it. Then the potential probability for feeling any regret is eliminated if you don’t make that particular mistake in the first place.

Focusing and living in the past creates sadness and can lead to depression. You know what it is like to reminisce about your past. Just make sure you are doing it from a place of learning and not regret. Also, give yourself some grace. You are here today, and that speaks volumes.

Making Headway

So we build up regret from our past, but also keeping our thoughts in the future produces anxiety. Centering our thoughts in the present moment helps to keep us grounded and can eliminate regret and anxiety.

Doesn’t it make sense to focus on the present and to be mindful of it?

Tiptoeing into our future and past is part of human nature. You shouldn’t feel bad about doing so. Just don’t spend all your time in one place or the other. Try to focus on the present. This is where you need to be living. Before you know it, the present will pass on and become part of the past.

The sooner you can realize the benefit of living in the present, the better off you will be. Sometimes, it takes practice, and you may need to stop, take some breaths, and really think and feel where you are at.

How do you feel? What do you smell? What do you see? Do you hear anything? Use these questions to help yourself be mindful of the present.

The same goes for dealing with your bipolar disorder. It is super easy to look in the past and say I should have done A or B. Our illness can make things worse since it is a disease of our mind. Our thoughts can skew our interpretations of events.

That is why you need to give yourself a break. As I mentioned, give yourself some grace.

Bipolar disorder consists of two poles – mania and depression. Before we even start the conversation, people have already defined this label by black-and-white thinking.

Thinking in a gray area is extremely difficult when you are used to feeling in two extremes. It takes time and practice.

Strategies To Rid Yourself Of Regret

1. Mindfulness

Mindfulness is the practice of putting your thoughts in the here and now, in the present moment.

The dictionary defines mindfulness as, “the practice of maintaining a nonjudgmental state of heightened or complete awareness of one’s thoughts, emotions, or experiences on a moment-to-moment basis.”

When practicing mindfulness, you automatically put yourself in the present. By thinking this way, you build resilience and handle your past. When you redirect your focus to the present, the past and future become afterthoughts.

2. Therapy

If you need help to sort through your emotions, thoughts, and feelings, therapy is the perfect place.

Mindfulness is a great technique to learn when you are in therapy. Make sure you find a therapist that you like. It is much easier to chat with someone when you personally connect with them.

A therapist can help you work through your issues and your past.

The support from my therapists has been vital in my journey toward healing and moving forward. I have been transformed into a new individual.

3. Learn To Let Go

I’ve been doing some thinking after a recent encounter with someone. He made a strong attempt to belittle me for some of my decisions and my current circumstances. Judgment is the term that would best characterize his perspective.

At first, it really hurt my feelings. I quickly ended the conversation and will probably never speak to that person again.

One thing I told this individual during our brief interlude: I don’t live in regret.

I feel in my heart and soul that I make the best decisions I can. In fact, I always strive to do my best. I always make use of every available option when making decisions. No, I am not at 100=percent positive functioning all of the time. The point is that I make decisions, whether I am stable, in the throes of an episode, or somewhere in-between.

No one walks in my shoes but me.

Sometimes you have to give up some control to feel in control.

With bipolar disorder, we don’t always have control. No matter how consistent you are with medication, following your daily routine, and doing self-care, you can still experience breakthrough symptoms and even go through an episode.

I am the first person to take responsibility for the realities of bipolar disorder – I usually do to a fault. However, I have learned that this is a serious chronic illness that does not have a schedule or timetable.

There is a way to take responsibility for your illness. You can do everything in your power to keep from decompensating.

Take initiative in managing your overall treatment plan. Your focus should be on prevention. This gives you control of an out-of-control disorder.

Things can easily go beyond the prevention stage and into an episode. Seek professional help to bring you down from mania or pull you up from depression. If this is the case, you will have relinquished all control to bipolar disorder.

4. Move On

This is easier said than done.

I use reframing when I have a hard time moving on from a specific situation or encounter. Reframing is changing the perspective of how you look at something. It is a learned behavior that you can master with practice. It is difficult to do, but those of us with bipolar disorder have an advantage. Living with bipolar disorder, we are more sensitive than our neurotypical counterparts.

Reframing is a tool I have used for years and have found it to be extremely useful.

When you move on from a situation, you no longer feel any regret. Toxic feelings of guilt and other non-useful feelings seem to melt away and disappear.

When you combine both “letting go” and “moving on,” you are doing a service to yourself. Regret is something you no longer have to live with.

Last Thoughts

Never let anybody tell you that you need to feel guilty, or any other way, for that matter. As an individual, we all react and feel different emotions based on our environment and situation.

A toxic person will minimize the way you feel. Maybe you need to ask yourself if they are the best person to be around.

There are a multitude of methods to handle regret. I’m not stating that my suggestions should be considered as absolute authority. Instead, identify the methods that fit your needs. Experiment with my ideas, and there’s a good chance you will discover relief and closure.

I just know that have you hold on to regret, you will develop resentment, hatred, and anger. This leads to blaming someone or something else, and that is not the frame of mind you want to live in.

Whatever you do, do not deflect or push your experiences to the back of your mind. Either way, confront and deal with your feelings. Only then will you be able to move on and rid yourself of any regret.