Are you a Warrior, Survivor, Victim, Fighter, or Something Different?
When it comes to how you identify yourself, there are countless amounts of adjectives you can use. When looking at your experience of living with bipolar disorder, what comes to mind for you? Do you see yourself as a warrior, a survivor, a victim, or a fighter? Perhaps something else entirely different?
How you perceive and identify yourself will ultimately help you or deter you along your journey with bipolar disorder.
Are You a Victim?
How do you identify and see yourself? As a victim? A warrior? A fighter? Something else?
How you answer that question will ultimately determine the quality of life you will live.
If you are reading this article, you are already a warrior. If you see yourself as a victim, let us change that perspective.
I see myself as a warrior. You can probably guess that based on the title of my blog—“The Bipolar Battle.” Fighting the battle of bipolar disorder every single day has turned me into a warrior. However, I have not always seen myself as a warrior. It is an identity I have nurtured and one I identify with today.
The bipolar battle is fought within my mind and my body. It is true what they say about a mind-body connection—it is real and vital in remaining healthy when it comes to my bipolar disorder.
Before I move forward, I would like to mention a few thoughts regarding my journey. No two people have the same experiences. We can share the same struggle of bipolar disorder, but how I manage it and view it may be different compared to your own. Please remember that as we move forward.
I bring this up so you can take a breath and open up your mind to this discussion. Allow yourself to absorb the words and think.
The Victim Mentality
Everyone has met a “victim.” Here, I am not speaking about the victim of a crime – that is completely different. I am talking about your perspective as you travel the road through life.
How do you perceive the world around you? What do you think about when you envision someone playing the role of a victim?
1. Sense of Entitlement
Someone who portrays themself as a victim believes that the world owes them something.
I am not one to compare the adversity within peoples’ lives, but some have lived through exceptionally difficult experiences. A person who adopts a “victim mentality” feels they deserve something because of all the hardship they have faced.
It can go the other way, as well. Kids growing up in a rich family can have things “given to them.” They can take this same perspective into their adult lives by expecting people to treat them in a specific way. If they do not receive this treatment, then they view those people as “beneath them.”
Sometimes a person feels a sense of entitlement based on nothing in particular. An individual with a sense of entitlement believes the world owes them.
2. It Is Always Something or Somebody Else’s Fault
The mentality of a victim is to blame everybody else for everything. There is a complete lack of personal responsibility.
For example, when something goes wrong in life, simply blame it on another individual or thing.
I know you have met someone who talks about how life dealt them a bad hand. They have experienced X, Y, and Z. Since life treated them wrong, they “deserve something”—almost like reparations for their misfortune.
A victim believes it is always something or somebody else’s fault—never their own.
3. A Victim Does Not Take Personal Responsibility For Their Actions
Not taking personal responsibility goes hand-in-hand with blaming everything on something or somebody else.
An individual who has adopted the mentality of a victim does not take personal responsibility for their actions and decisions. This is especially true when there is an adverse outcome to a decision. It is much easier to divert attention to something else than to deal with any repercussions directly. This is a learned behavior.
A parent will teach their kids to take responsibility for their actions. The opposite is also true. You can just as easily learn not to take responsibility for your actions as opposed to learning personal responsibility.
When it comes to your actions, what is your take? Do you take responsibility for your actions, or do you point the blame elsewhere?
4. Oh, the Drama!
Drama is never a good thing. Many people thrive on drama—especially those who see themselves as a victim. It is almost like they need the drama to survive.
You will also notice those with a victim mentality always seem to put their issues on somebody else. It is part of the drama.
Ironically, they tend to ask, “Why is there so much drama in my life?”
5. Immature Outlook On Life
For our purposes, an immature outlook on life is defined as “extreme black-and-white thinking.” You can often see this in toddlers and teenagers.
A victim tends to take this outlook into their adult life. There is no gray-area thinking. It is “this or that,” with no in-between.
Just because a person has one of these behaviors does not mean they will exhibit all of them. Overall, a victim is stagnant in life and refuses to move forward.
Do You Identify as a Survivor?
The dictionary defines a “survivor,” as “a person who continues to function or prosper despite opposition, hardship, or setbacks.”
As a survivor, you find the will and desire to live and carry on, despite adversity.
Everyone lives through adversity, and of course, the types, kinds, and severity of hardship vary for everyone. How a person reacts and copes is what is most important.
Surviving the battle of bipolar disorder means to live on, one day at a time. I know you can personally relate to this if you have stared mortality in the eyes. Specifically, I am referring to suicide.
If you or someone you know is contemplating suicide, please call 911 or go to your nearest Emergency Room. You can also contact the National Suicide Prevention Hotline at 1-800-273-8255.
Living through, and surviving, each day is a win and a triumph. That is an example of absolute and utter success. For those who live with bipolar disorder, I know that example is extremely relatable.
Do You Identify as a Fighter?
The dictionary defines a “fighter,” as “a person with the will, courage, determination, ability or disposition to fight, struggle, or resist.”
Fight is defined as an “attempt to defend oneself against or to subdue, defeat, or destroy an adversary.”
As a fighter, you resist adversity and struggle to get through it. The mentality of a fighter is to never stop trying and to never give up or give in.
A fighter is different compared to a survivor because surviving is getting through and living for another day. When you fight, you stand your ground against the opposition and defend yourself.
Does this distinction make sense?
Each day, I follow my treatment plan. My treatment plan details the medication I take and when I take them, what exercise to engage in, when and what to eat, how much water to consume, and which coping strategies to implement in case things get too overwhelming. These tools are what I use to fight my bipolar disorder. It is a matter of taking positive action to overcome my foe. In my case, this foe is bipolar disorder.
Your Mindset Will Help Define Your Identity
When it comes to implementing the strategies and activities in my treatment plan, some days are easier than others.
For example, one day I may feel fantastic. In that instance, I have lots of energy, and am in a great mood, feeling centered and stable. I feel both mentally and physically strong. During these days, I can check off all the listed activities in my treatment plan. It is easier to fight and take a stand when things seem to flow and I feel good.
Another day may be completely different. You know those days—you feel irritated, annoyed, on edge, unmotivated, have low energy, can barely keep your eyes open, and feel like the pits. During a day such as this, I may only finish a couple of the things on my list.
Some days, the bipolar battle will be easier, and some days will be harder. How I react and respond will help identify the person I am and strive to be.
Will I give up? Give in? Stand down? Or will I get up, fight, and stand my ground?
Do You Identify as a Warrior?
The dictionary defines a “warrior,” as “someone who fights in battle and is known to have courage and skill.”
Living with bipolar disorder is the definition of a warrior. A warrior is “someone who fights in battle,” and you fight the bipolar battle every day of your life.
A warrior is a combination of both a fighter and a survivor. As a fighter, you take arms up against the bipolar battle and fight through each day. Your weapons may not be swords and axes, but they are your medication, a healthy diet, exercise, drinking plenty of water, getting enough sleep, and implementing stress-reducing activities.
Yes, you are a warrior, my friend. It takes courage and skill to live through each day with a mental illness.
Your ability to get through each day is a testament to your resolve and ability to survive. If you are reading these words, this means you are a warrior.
The Warrior
What comes to mind when you think of a warrior?
To me, a warrior is an individual who fights by utilizing their moral code. Life is more about action than inaction. Proactive behavior is paramount to a warrior.
The following are attributes of a true warrior in the fight against bipolar disorder:
1. Taking Personal Responsibility
A warrior takes responsibility for their action or inaction. It is not another person’s fault.
When it comes to bipolar disorder, it is difficult to draw the line between personal responsibility and the illness. I have grappled with this distinction since I was diagnosed.
I tend to take on too much responsibility for my actions, even when I do not have control.
I have bipolar type 1, with extreme cases of mania and depression. When I am in the throes of an episode, my thought patterns are completely distorted. I can get extremely psychotic. It is part of the disorder, and once I am in a mood episode, I no longer have any control over it.
However, I can do everything in my power to reduce the severity and length of a mood episode. Sometimes, I can prevent an episode altogether.
Throughout the years, I have created and molded a type of ethical code regarding the treatment of my bipolar disorder.
I focus on the things that I can control to manage my bipolar disorder. That is the simple gist of it. My entire life and treatment plan stems from the simple concept of control.
My personal treatment plan’s primary purpose is to minimize the impact of my bipolar episodes, along with their frequency.
I take a proactive role in managing my bipolar disorder every day of my life—I have control over that.
Looking at what you can and cannot control is huge in the management of bipolar disorder. It is extremely difficult but can be done. It is the main difference between those who can successfully manage their bipolar disorder and those who cannot.
2. Taking Action
With a mental illness, you have no choice but to take action if stability is your goal. Action with extreme purpose and desire for a positive outcome is my point.
Ask yourself, “What is your goal?” Mine is to manage my illness. I want to be stable for myself and my family.
Sometimes, asking the right question is all it takes.
I have my main goal in my mind. From there, I created my wellness and treatment plan to manage my illness.
Again, it takes action.
3. Strength
Bipolar disorder is a mental illness directly connected to our biology—to our mind and body. You may have heard of the mind-body connection.
A warrior trains and strengthens their entire body. Strengthening your body is just as important as strengthening your mind.
Move your body every day and make it a part of your lifestyle. Going for a 30-minute walk is great. Find a physical activity you enjoy doing and that you can maintain consistently.
A warrior knows the importance of training their mind and body each day. As a warrior fighting the bipolar battle, I follow my treatment plan to strengthen my mind and body.
4. Courage
Courage takes many forms.
I am not speaking about courage on the physical battlefield of a fight. I am talking about the battlefield of your mind – your environment and your life.
With bipolar disorder, simply getting up, getting through the day, and surviving it takes courage. It is difficult for someone without a mental illness to comprehend this state of mind. That is one reason why there is such a stigma surrounding mental illness.
If you do not live with bipolar disorder—or some other mental illness — it is difficult to understand the difficulty of living through the day. Why does living with a mental illness make it so difficult? Is it just laziness?
No, it is not simply laziness. You cannot use the power of your mind to make yourself better when you have bipolar disorder. If that were true, I — along with countless others—would no longer live with the battle we wage daily.
Anybody who lives with a chronic illness can empathize with the constant daily struggle of managing it. It takes work, consistency, and discipline.
It takes courage to move your body and simply survive when your mind is telling you something completely different. Sometimes, the mind can trick you into questioning your mortality.
Yes, living with bipolar disorder and managing it consistently takes courage.
5. Does Not Feel Entitled
A warrior does not feel a sense of self-entitlement. Instead, they adopt the opposite view.
The majority of people who feel entitled were given too much or too little when growing up. When those individuals are used to getting what they want, they feel like someone owes them something, because that is what they are used to.
If these individuals suffered and grew up with too little, they may feel like the world owes them something for their struggles.
A warrior feels like no one owes them anything. This is based on their view of personal responsibility. If something goes wrong, they do not blame anybody else.
A warrior takes personal responsibility, and they do not feel entitled to anything.
The Bipolar Battle
Everyone has a spectrum of feelings, emotions, and moods. For most people, this spectrum does not span too far in either direction. If you live with bipolar disorder, this spectrum extends much further in both directions. At one end of the spectrum is mania, and at the other is depression.
Living with bipolar disorder, you will still experience the so-called “normal” range of emotions. However, I do not like the term “normal.”
Can we just use a different term?
Let us replace the term “normal” with “general.” Yes, that is what we’ll do…
From now on, we will use the term general range of emotions instead of a “normal range of emotions.”
An individual with a chemically balanced mind is referred to as neurotypical (NT). A neurotypical person naturally feels only the general range of emotions.
Living with bipolar disorder, your mind is open not only to the general range of emotions but extends beyond that to the poles of mania (psychosis in extreme cases) and depression.
Your mood will not fluctuate between mania and depression over one day. There are exceptions to this fact, but this is the general rule of thumb.
Bipolar disorder also impacts motivation, energy level, and degree of functionality. These can all drastically change and fluctuate during the day.
It is a daily battle to keep these components in check.
A Brief History Lesson
Bipolar disorder is not one-dimensional. In the past, it was referred to as manic depression. You either had it, or you did not. Through the years, manic depression has evolved into a multi-dimensional diagnosis. This means that there is not a “one-size-fits-all” approach to living with bipolar disorder. I find it easier to think of bipolar disorder as a spectrum.
As the diagnostic criteria of bipolar disorder have changed throughout the decades, so have the different types of bipolar disorder. Now, there are four types of bipolar disorder characterized by symptoms of varying intensities. Bipolar disorder not only impacts a person’s mood but also their ability to function and their motivation and energy level.
This is the reality of bipolar disorder and why it is the bipolar battle — it is a lifelong battle.
My Perspective
I take life one day at a time because it is exhausting to look much further than that. Looking at life in increments of a day—sometimes down to the hour and even minute — provides a perspective that others cannot teach. Unless you live with bipolar disorder, it is not a perspective that is easily understandable.
Even though the battle is exhausting, it is doable and something you can maintain long term.
Your treatment plan provides the weapons to combat the bipolar battle. Taking time to rest, recoup, and re-energize is absolutely essential to manage your bipolar disorder long term.
So, have you figured out how you identify? Are you a warrior, survivor, or fighter?
If you live with bipolar disorder and are reading these words, I know with certainty that you are all three.
Last Thoughts
When I was first diagnosed with bipolar disorder back in 1999, I initially adopted the “oh, poor me” mentality. That was extremely short-lived.
I gave up emulating the mentality of a victim and reversed my thinking — my inner dialogue — and I refocused my thoughts and began thinking like a warrior.
I make it a point to focus on the things I can control, and I let go of those things I cannot.
The mission of The Bipolar Battle is, to “Help empower those living with bipolar disorder to live the life they deserve.” Empowerment is one of the primary ways to manage your bipolar disorder and thus improve your quality of life. It is a way to start leading the life of a warrior.
