The Taboo Topic Of Hypersexuality And Bipolar Disorder

Warning, the following is for mature audiences only…

Background

Hypersexuality is a topic that makes many people uncomfortable. Heck, mention sex, and everyone starts to fidget in their seats. You know what I’m talking about, right?

I do not know where the aversion to talking about sex came from. I do know my parents and their parents come from a more conservative background. Maybe that is it.

I do not remember ever talking to my parents about sex. Everything I learned about the taboo topic came from my ex-girlfriends and friends. I am not saying there is anything wrong with this. It is just the reality of the world we live in.

What Is Hypersexuality?

Now, let us dive into hypersexuality and how it relates to bipolar disorder. Hypersexuality is defined in the dictionary as a “clinical diagnosis to describe extremely frequent or suddenly increased libido.” A person’s sex drive shoots through the roof!

When a person has bipolar disorder, their sex drive increases and decreases, mirroring the manic and depressive poles of their illness, respectfully. I am sure there are exceptions to this rule, but here I am discussing the norm.

I have found and learned that the majority of those with bipolar disorder type 1 experience hypersexuality when they become manic.

Hypersexuality is about an increased libido and desire for more sexual interaction and gratification. The effects of this increased desire have many consequences and repercussions. These consequences can be especially detrimental to relationships.

Manic Hypersexuality

When a person edges toward the manic side of things, the individual starts flirting more than normal. Want for a sexual connection drives this increase in flirting. A once innocent hug or comment now has a deeper sexually rooted meaning.

Many individuals change what they enjoy sexually and their personal preferences, as well. I am talking about a 180-degree turn here. For example, a person may be completely monogamous when they are stabilized and managing from day to day. However, this same person may be interested in bringing a third person into the bedroom when they become manic and experiment in new ways. See what I mean?

Hypersexuality Can Change Your Morals and Values

A person’s morals and values can completely change when they become manic. This can go as far as to change a person’s sexual orientation. We can see sexual satisfaction in new and exciting ways. Again, these examples do not relate to everyone. They are to give you an idea of what it is like to deal with hypersexuality regarding bipolar disorder.

If you are in a monogamous relationship and live with bipolar disorder, it is imperative to be open and honest with your partner. Open and honest communication is not solely for those with bipolar disorder, but it is for everyone!

You should have a frank conversation with your partner about what your symptoms look like when you are manic before you become manic. It is a good idea to have a plan in place to protect yourself, your partner, and your relationship. Plan for the best, but expect the worst.

The Importance of Taking a Proactive Approach to Your Illness

Bipolar disorder is an illness, not a choice. I am not saying that bipolar disorder is a hall pass to do whatever you want. It should give you a clearer light into how bipolar disorder is an illness—a mental illness.

It is not okay to blame poor decision-making on your illness. If you travel that road, you adopt the victim mentality, and you will never live life to the best of your ability. That is why it is important to be proactive in managing your bipolar disorder. You need to have these conversations before anyone gets hurt.

You should create a treatment and crisis plan to help you manage your bipolar disorder, including daily and long-term. Add something to your crisis plan that states what your loved ones and medical team should do in case you become manic. The whole premise of a plan like this is to set roadblocks in place to reduce the fallout from a manic episode.

Communication

You should have a discussion with your partner about what you want to happen in case you become manic. Your partner needs to feel free to say what they want as well. Do not shame each other for your particular thoughts or feelings. Make sure to write down your conclusions, and put them in your crisis plan. You can also videotape yourself. This is a great tool for your partner to show you in case you do become manic.

Do you see the common theme? It is communication. Communication is essential to travel the road of bipolar disorder.

Do not wait for an issue to pop up. Plan and prepare beforehand by writing up a treatment and crisis plan. Bipolar disorder is full of uncertainty and surprises.

How Some Couples Have Dealt With Hypersexuality

Now that we know the importance of communication and developing a plan with our partner, let us look at a real-life example.

Someone I know has been married to her partner for close to two decades. They are monogamous and extremely committed to each other. The life they have created seems almost like it came out of a fairy tale.

When she gets manic, hypersexuality kicks in. She flirts with everyone and sees each person as a sexual conquest. During a hypersexual phase, it shrouds everything in sexual innuendo, from talking to body language, to taste, to smell.

Unfortunately, this individual and their partner did not have a plan in place, and the manic fallout almost destroyed their relationship. They could repair their relationship, but it took months and lots of therapy. Now, they have a clearly defined plan in case she becomes manic.

Last Thoughts

Hypersexuality is one of the many symptoms that define bipolar disorder. Do not feel shame for your thoughts and feelings. What I am into, you may not be, and vice versa.

Never shame someone else for how they feel or for their thoughts. It should mean something special to you if they trust you to divulge their feelings. It is a way to increase the intimacy between you and your partner.

Remember to create a plan with your partner. Your relationship will thank you for it.