Is There God in Bipolar Disorder?

*Photo by Jack Sharp on Unsplash

Warning: possible triggers related to suicide, God, and spirituality.

“How does God fit into all this, meaning dealing with bipolar disorder?” The answer to this question is very personal and is dependent on your personal belief system.

I do not want to turn this into an article for, or against, religion. Instead, I would like to discuss the various ways that God, spirituality, and religion can impact our ability to live with bipolar disorder.

Strength

“Be strong,

be brave,

and be fearless.

You are never alone.”

Joshua 1:9

Do you ever feel exhausted, like you cannot carry on, or that you have no hope? I have been there countless times, and when I feel like that, it is important that I change my perspective.

This may sound cliché, but I really do take my life one day at a time. Anything more than that, and life can feel too overwhelming. If that gets too much, I will take it hour by hour. If that is still too much, then I break it down into 15-minute increments. When I am in a crisis, I live my life literally from one minute to the next.

If you or someone you know is struggling emotionally with thoughts of death, call The National Suicide Prevention Hotline (24 hours a day) at 1-800-273-8255. You can also text “TalkWithUs” to 66746.

Here, when I speak about strength, I am alluding to a person’s character – the drive to pull through, even when the odds are against you.

Many people find strength through their faith, spirituality, or belief in a higher power, such as God. How do you find strength? If you do not feel like you possess it, how do you find it?

Finding strength when you live with bipolar disorder can be difficult, and it sometimes can feel almost impossible. However, always remember that, yes, bipolar disorder can control your energy level, your activity level, and your mood, but it cannot dictate your willpower. Thinking along those lines gives me strength, and this helps me beat those odds I just mentioned.

Hope

“For I know the plans

I have for you,”

declares the Lord,

“Plans to prosper you

and not to harm you,

plans to give you hope

and a future.”

Jeremiah 29:11

Whether you believe in God or not, hope can help you get through the day. You may be asking yourself, “How do I find hope?” For me, it is not about “finding hope,” because I already possess it. I may lose it sometimes, but I have felt it in the past, and for that reason, I am able to find it again.

When I was first diagnosed with bipolar disorder, I did not have much hope. To find the hope to carry on, I put all my trust in the medical professionals treating me. They constantly reminded me that things would get better and eventually I would start to feel better.

Each day, I focused on bettering myself. I did this by taking a shower, reading a book, or simply getting out of bed. My goal was just to function.

Nowadays, there is so much pressure to produce, go-go-go, do-do-do, and push yourself to the brink of burnout. Then, if you do not reach whatever goal you set for yourself, you are considered a “failure.” I am not sure why people hold burnout to such a high degree of “success.” After all, it wreaks havoc not only on your body but also on your mental well-being.

I am here to tell you that you do not have to be a superhero. You do not have to be “Super Dad” or “Super Mom” to prove yourself.

Sometimes, the simple act of focusing on one day at a time is enough to bring you hope. At least, that has been my experience. It becomes a matter of survival, and there is nothing more basic than that.

Faith

“Let your roots grow down

Into him, and let your lives be

built on them. Then your faith

will grow strong in the truth

you were taught, and you will

overflow with thankfulness.”

Colossians 2:7

Faith is a belief in something greater than yourself. For me, there is something more to this universe than what you can see with the naked eye.

Bipolar disorder is an illness of the brain. The brain helps us understand the world and interpret what is going on around us. Our brain interprets what we see and understand – literally, through our own eyes.

During manic episodes, I have seen demons, demonic shadows, and the devil. I have also had delusions. Does this mean it is real because I see it? When I become delusional, the delusions are as real to me as the air you are breathing into your lungs right now.

My faith in God has helped me to get through some rough times. Believing in something greater than myself has provided me with strength and hope. It has helped to illuminate my path when all I see is darkness. What do you believe?

My Own Experience

During my full-blown manic episodes, there always seems to be an accompanying religious component. For example, I have felt like I was best friends with the Pope. One time, I believed that Jesus personally anointed me for some greater holy purpose.

During my journey, the line between my own faith in God and my own sanity has been blurred. Those manic episodes I mentioned quickly turned from a spiritual awakening into a real-life horror movie. I experienced evil first-hand.

It is imperative, that in order to maintain my stability, I must eliminate all possible triggers. For that reason, I maintain caution with any involvement with faith, God, and my own spirituality. It is unfortunate that I have discovered this to be such a trigger.

I have always felt a sort of extra-sensory sensitivity. Living through my various mood episodes has given me a glimpse into the spiritual realm. Now, bear with me here. Like I touched on previously, I have known and felt great evil. When I go through a manic episode, I get a first-hand glimpse into the spiritual warfare that goes on in this world.

Just like science and God can go hand-in-hand, so too can mental illness and spirituality if you are open-minded. Again, these are my beliefs – take them for what they are worth.

Last Thoughts

Throughout my life, I have met many others who, like myself, have a spiritual component to their bipolar disorder. However, it has been more of an exception than a rule.

One of my friends believed he was the Messiah, sold all of his material possessions, and drove out to California. He spent the next three years living out of his car and preaching the Gospel from the beach. Ultimately, he was arrested and treated.

In the end, we are all individuals, and those of us living with bipolar disorder are unique in our symptoms.